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News Media Outlets Remind Folks that Covid-19 is Pretty Much Like World War II, Nothing Like the Flu.

Mainstream news outlets have been busy investigating the proper thing to compare the Covid-19 virus to in order to have a baseline as to how dangerous they want you to think the virus is. Today it was discovered that the perfect thing that was best to compare Covid-19 to was World War II.

“We have been researching the virus for months, asking experts about everything we could possibly want to know about the virus, and the experts all pointed to the same thing. World War II.” An anonymous expert journalist from an expert news outlet said. “The experts all pointed to the same thing; the deaths. The fact that a lot of people have died makes it pretty much exactly like World War II.”

The expert journalist went on to explain how the fact that Covid-19 affects the respiratory system like the flu, also is a much larger risk to the elderly than the young like the flu, and can have long term health impacts and cause pneumonia like the flu, it is absolutely, unequivocally, like World War II.

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“The most offensive thing you can do is compare Covid-19 to the flu.” The anonymous expert journalist continued, “I mean, seriously, who would tell concentration camp survivors and World War II veterans that the war and everything that happened was pretty much just like the flu? That would be completely wrong and offensive!”

President Joe Biden is slated to make one of the most powerful speeches ever. A speech rivaling past president FDRs speech in response to the attack on Pear Harbor on December 7, 1941. It is said it will be a speech that will rouse the entire nation to go home and sit on the couch to fight this virus for our country.

Sunglass Hut Booth in Front of Mall Food Court to be Sole Supplier of Rose Colored Glasses in Covid Relief Bill.

The Sunglass Hut booth down at the mall near the food court is slated to become the sole supplier of rose colored glasses for the next Covid Relief Bill being brought forward in congress.

The main sponsor, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, says she has been listening to all her constituents and how they all are suffering because of the pandemic. “Their businesses are shut down, they no longer have jobs, and they cannot afford their rent and house payments. People are getting their electricity cut off and no longer have heating for their homes.” Ocasio-Cortez continues, “So, after listening to their suffering I figured out the best solution is to mandate rose colored glasses for everyone. This will greatly improve the lives of everyone if they are all required to wear rose colored glasses!”

The bill is slated to give the Sunglass Hut booth near the food court $2000 per pair of rose colored glasses to create and supply them to the people. The cost is an estimated $600 Billion directed to the Sunglass Hut booth in the mall near the food court. Citizens will be required to purchase the rose colored glasses for $50 from the Sunglass Hut booth or face fines and jail time for not wearing rose colored glasses.

Senate leaders Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell agree that this legislation needs to be passed but have some concerns.

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“What color is rose, exactly?” Chuck Schumer asked, “Roses come in many colors, we cannot just have the Sunglass Hut boot in the mall near the food court to have free reign to decide what color rose colored glasses are. We need to at least make sure they are the right color of rose colored glasses.”

Mitch McConnell could be seen standing next to Chuck Schumer nodding in complete agreement.

The bill has over one-hundred democrat co-sponsors in the house and is slated to be unanimously approved in the House, and may face some challenges from detractors in the Senate, but still has a likely chance of passing the senate.

President Joe Biden says he will sign the bill as soon as it hits his desk. “I mean, C’mon man!”

Joe Biden Signs Executive Order Declaring Himself the President of the United States of America.

President Joe Biden, concerned with the fact that former president Donald Trump won the 2020 presidential election, quickly took to executive orders on the first day of being President of the United States of America and declared himself the President of the United States of America.

Democrat leaders have been concerned about the fact that Former President Donald Trump won the 2020 election, so they have been taking all measures possible up to, and including, impeaching former President Donald Trump.

“It would be a tragedy if former President Donald Trump were to rightfully take the office of the Presidency of which he rightfully and legally won.” Democrat House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced during the house hearings on articles of impeachment for former President Donald Trump. “President Biden did the right thing in signing an executive order declaring himself the President of the United States of America, but congress needs to do more to make sure former President Donald Trump doesn’t rightfully take the seat of the Presidency for winning the election.”

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Ten house republicans have agreed with Democrat House Speaker Pelosi on making sure former President Donald Trump doesn’t take the seat of the Presidency for winning the election.

Republican Congressman Dan Newhouse from the notoriously democrat state of Washington had this to say: “Former President Donald Trump rightfully won the seat of the Presidency and I support President Joe Biden doing the right thing and declaring himself the President of the United States of America through executive order. I hope with these articles of impeachment we can permanently set in stone the fact that, even though former President Donald Trump won the election and rightfully deserves to have the seat of the Presidency, President Joe Biden is the President.”

As of this posting, there is uncertainty as to whether the articles of impeachment bill will pass the senate as Vice President Kamala Harris is seeking an amendment to the articles that would declare her to be the President of the United States of America.

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