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A crowd of confused looking democrats gathered in the park by the river today saying they were responding to the sound of a racist dog whistle. “Can’t you hear it?” One democrat asked as a jogger tried to bypass the crowd of democrats without being noticed. “I don’t hear anything.” The jogger responded while speeding …
Continue reading “Democrats Confused as to Why Only They Can Hear Racist Dog Whistle”
After newly discovering the power to impeach people who aren’t in public office anymore, congressional democrats conducted a séance to tear President Richard Nixon’s soul out of the afterlife to stand trial for his impeachment. “It’s not about politics, it is about making sure bad people can’t ever get re-elected!” Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer …
The one thing preventing the democrats from enacting reforms on law enforcement has been the republicans of the Washington State legislature. “It is just wrong that we allow our law enforcement officers use pepper spray on peaceful protesters.” Governor Inslee said. “These peaceful protesters are just robbing and looting the original Starbucks coffee shop and …
In a blunder of epic proportions, Amazon completely removed the social media platform, Twitter, from its web hosting services. “I just thought, ‘Oh crap, Dorsey is going to think we’re in bed with Parler!’” Jeff Bezos replied when asked about the blunder. “We were just trying to free up more space for Twitter. Parler was …
Mainstream news outlets have been busy investigating the proper thing to compare the Covid-19 virus to in order to have a baseline as to how dangerous they want you to think the virus is. Today it was discovered that the perfect thing that was best to compare Covid-19 to was World War II. “We have …
The Sunglass Hut booth down at the mall near the food court is slated to become the sole supplier of rose colored glasses for the next Covid Relief Bill being brought forward in congress. The main sponsor, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, says she has been listening to all her constituents and how they all are suffering because …
President Joe Biden, concerned with the fact that former president Donald Trump won the 2020 presidential election, quickly took to executive orders on the first day of being President of the United States of America and declared himself the President of the United States of America. Democrat leaders have been concerned about the fact that …