In a blunder of epic proportions, Amazon completely removed the social media platform, Twitter, from its web hosting services.
“I just thought, ‘Oh crap, Dorsey is going to think we’re in bed with Parler!'” Jeff Bezos replied when asked about the blunder. “We were just trying to free up more space for Twitter. Parler was just using a lot of space on the server’s hard drive that could be used for Twitter. It is pretty much the same as Twitter, and it really doesn’t make sense to have two of the same websites. So, since Parler was virtually unknown, we were just going to remove it and nobody would notice.”
When asked how the blunder happened Bezos responded, “I wasn’t wearing my glasses and instead of clicking the ‘define space for Twitter’ button, I accidentally clicked the ‘delete space for Twitter’ button.”
The blunder caused million of people to flock to the Parler website to get their fix of social media.
Apple and Google quickly noticed a problem with the Parler app in their app stores.
“It was literally taking over our app stores!” A representative of Apple and Google had to say. “We had to remove it otherwise our entire infrastructure would have been destroyed. Apple and Google would have been no more. It was actually a dangerous computer virus!”
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Once Jeff Bezos noticed the exponential growth of Parler on the hard drives of his server, he quickly pulled the plug on the server and re-formatted the hard drive.
Jeff called Jack as soon as he realized his mistake. “I said: ‘Hey, I kinda accidentally deleted Twitter. Do you have a backup somewhere?’ Then Jack responded, ‘I have a copy on my thumb drive, but we’re going to have to call Zukerberg to restore the peoples accounts.'”
“Luckily Facebook has everyone’s personal information and account information and passwords so we can just copy and re-create peoples accounts from Mark’s database.” Jeff Bezos said.
The Parler virus has been contained for now. The creator of the Parler virus has threatened to bring it back. The virus is contained at www.parler.com and appears incapable of actually spreading.
We have Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Google, and Twitter all to thank for stopping the apocalypse of the Internet from the Parler virus. We can all sleep soundly knowing that these companies are ready to deal with any and all dangerous threats to our liberty on the Internet.